Happy Birthday Camden

Well tomorrow would have been our son Camden's 1st birthday. Since he isn't here to celebrate with us, the only thing left to do is imagine what tomorrow would have been like if he were still here. Well if he was anything like his sister he would have been walking for a month now. He would be grazing on all different kinds of food and preparing to save us a whole lot of money weaning off of formula. He would be exploring all the nooks and crannies of our house and getting into things he's not supposed to. He would be attempting to break out of his crib and make a run for it. He probably would have been babbling for mamma and dadda and reaching for us to hold him.

I would probably have sent out adorable John Deere 1st birthday invitations to all his grandparents, aunts & uncles and little kid friends and their parents. I would be setting up a ridiculously huge party for a 1 year old who would never remember it. I imagine a pool party at Uncle Josh's and Aunt Lauren's. I would have got 1st year pictures taken by some amazing photograph who made my kid look amazing and then post them on Facebook for the world to see. I would have got Aunt Hope to make a delicious cake for him to shove into your face while everyone snapped pictures of him and giggled and smiled. Aunt Joy would have made him an adorable onesie with a big 1 on it. At the rate Camden was going, it probably would have been a size 18 months :) His Nana, Pop, Grandan, and Mammaw would be looking for the perfect gift for him. So many things would be happening if he were still here.

This all sounds like over kill and a little obnoxious for a 1 year old but it's the truth. These are things I would have done if Camden was still here. And those of my mom friends reading this, you probably will do the same or already had the 1st birthday experience. I used to think we mom's were crazy and spent way to much energy and time gearing up for our babies to turn into a toddler but now I see that a baby turning one is A HUGE DEAL! If Chad and I are able to have more children, I will be throwing the biggest 1st birthday party for my child. Why? because they made it! They made it through their first year of life. I've realized there are many babies who make it but there are many babies who don't. The whole process of being pregnant, giving birth and the 1st year of life is a scary time. So many things can go wrong in that time and I believe a little one's life SHOULD be celebrated whether they're here physically or watching down from Heaven.

My family has decided to celebrate Camden's life, even though it will be hard and sad. We will gather tomorrow and remember our little sweet man who gave us so much happiness and joy while he was here on Earth. I so badly wish he was here to celebrate with us. It physically hurts knowing that my 1 year old isn't here, he didn't make it. But I've got to smile that Camden was here and I got to be his mom. How lucky am I? Like any proud mom, I think I had the happiest, sweetest, most cuddly baby anyone could ask for. He was perfect.

Happy Birthday Camden!

Since I can only imagine, I imagine you to look a lot like your big sister on her 1st birthday.