13 Reasons why

I've heard a lot of controversy over the new Netflix original series 13 Reasons Why, based off the book written by Jay Asher. I was very curious so of course I binged watched all 13 episodes like any true millennial would. After completing the series I thought long and hard over what I had just watched. It was so heavy and thought provoking, I needed time to digest.

The controversy of this book and now TV show is based around a girl who commits suicide and leaves behind 13 tapes giving the reasons why she did what she did. Some believe this is putting ideas into teenagers heads that shouldn't be there. That this show and book has glorified committing suicide. This situation has taken me back a few years to when MTV aired the first episode of Teen Mom. Everyone was freaking out, saying the show was encouraging girls to get pregnant at a young age and implying you could get on TV for being a Teen Mom. As I watched the show I remember thinking how important the show's message was. They depicted just how hard life is when children have children. They showed raw footage of heart break, family fights, financial problems and needing to drop out of school to name a few. These girls took the opportunity to share their hard stories in order to change someone else's life. Ironically, teen pregnancy has dropped since Teen Mom aired in 2009. You can read more about it here: http://time.com/825/does-16-and-pregnant-prevent-or-promote-teen-pregnancy/

With that being said, I understand the fears we as parents have with what we should allow our children to watch and read. We do everything in our power to protect them but the reality is they live in a big world and they will see upsetting and scary things. 13 Reason's why is a realistic depiction of what high school might look like for students who don't have a strong support system. And this is why I think this TV series would benefit parents and educators most. If you're not going to allow your child to watch it, that is fine but I encourage you as parents to watch it. It was gut wrenching at time but these are the students your kids are going to school with everyday. Who knows, maybe it's your kid.

One part that resonated with me was hearing several of the parents in the show saying "my kid would never do that, I know my kid." But, they didn't really know their kids at all. I feel like 13 Reasons why gave me insight in a teenagers mind, which is the only way we can begin to understand and relate to them.

Working as a youth pastor for several years, I heard scary things from my students. I couldn't believe the pressures they dealt with on a daily basis. From peers, parents, teachers, coaches and from themselves. We need to make sure we are doing everything in our power to support our children as they navigate through adolescences. Don't shy away from these tough conversations. Don't hide them from the scary stuff. Don't shelter them from the world. What I learned from the show, walk along side them. Teach them skills to handle tough situations. Talk with them about their feelings. Start an open communications policy at a young age. Provide for their emotional needs as much as their physical needs. And most of all, be present.

If you do decide to let your teenager watch this (in my opinion best for Juniors and Seniors), watch it with them. Ask them questions. Talk about it. Be a part of the solution. Adult involvement in a child's life is the most important aspect of their adolescence years. A parent has the most influential and important job for a child's future. Don't let someone else do your job, step up and give them your time and attention.

Suicide
Sexual Assault
Rape
Bullying
Loneliness
Drugs
Alcohol are all real problems for teenagers. Don't ignore the signs.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255