We'll Wait

Yesterday after seeing a dear friend of mine update her family and friends on their adoption journey, I got inspired to do the same.

In May of 2016 we started our adoption journey. A few months later we started the home study process, fundraising and getting approved for adoption. We were officially approved January 31st, 2017 and have been on the family waiting list since then. As many of you know, birth mom situations were coming in at a rapid rate during those first few months and we were chosen for a situation in Ohio. Things moved quickly and we traveled to Columbus to complete our family. But our trip was cut short after 3 days with the baby, when birth mom decided she would parent.

Feeling defeated we traveled home in silence wondering if we could go through this again. How could we trust another birth mom after going through this? How could we travel out of state with no guarantee we would come home with a child? Who do we keep in the loop going forward? It didn't take long for us to begin reviewing new birth mom situations. Knowing we wanted a child meant we had to keep trucking forward and put our complete faith in God and the process. During the next few months until now, situations have been slim to none. Hearing the ding of my e-mail on my iphone or having an incoming call from an unknown number always makes my heart skip a beat. Maybe just maybe they're calling to say they have a baby waiting for us right now and we needed to jump on a plane to go to them. While that seems unrealistic, it does happen.

Adoptions fall through and people get calls a few days later for another child. Unfortunately this is not how Bethany Christian Services work. We simply go back on the list and birth moms get to pick their adoptive family, no matter how long a family has been waiting or what their adoption journey has been like. Part of the reason we appreciated working with Bethany was because we knew moms were being counseled and taken care of as well. They are given choices and resource to give them the confidence to parent their child. While I know this is the best for them, deep down inside I ache so much for a baby I forget to think about birth moms and their journey. I don't want to wait any longer and I'm so desperate to grow my family, I've become selfish in the process.

Right now I'm working hard at having patience and understanding. I want to know when we bring a child into our home, a mom was given all her choices and still felt the need for adoption. I want to provide a loving home for a child, not take a child from a mother who could provide the same if given the resources and help. My hope is to have a relationship with our child's birth parents so they don't have to experience the pain of completely losing a child like we have. We want to give them the opportunity to be a part of their child's life.

With all the being said, we continue to wait for that family. One who needs us as much as we need them. Life is so unpredictable. It could change at any moment. And We can't wait for "that moment."

In the mean time, we will continue to fundraiser and we will try our best to keep everyone updated as things change.

Thanks for your love and support!