A little girl with a big heart

Something bizarre and usual took place today. While riding home on the bus, Cali got teary and cried because she was missing Camden. Her dear friend who sits with on the bus was talking about her baby brother and I guess this sparked some unresolved emotions that were brought back to the surface for Cali. Through this entire journey Chad and I have walked, so has Cali. She walk alongside us as we grieved, started Camden's Run, went through IVF and now the adoption process. She has been amazingly strong through it all but as she has gotten older she has been able to articulate her feelings more to us. Sometimes it's her simple statements that make the biggest impact in our day.

"Can we look through Camden's picture book?"
"Remember when I used to help you give Camden's baths?"
"I want Camden back."
"I want a baby now."
"When I grow up who will be my brother and sister?"
"It's not fair."

Really we don't need to say much more than that. All those questions and statements are completely validated. Some days I just want to kick and scream until someone gives me a baby. But obviously that won't work. I've actually learned a lot watching Cali grieve. Sometimes kids get is so right. Cry when it feels right. Ask questions when you have them. Work towards what you want but understand it might not happen over night.

Now, our journey to bring another child into this family has been going on for 3 years. In the span of a lifetime it seems so small but in the mind of a child it seems like eternity. Cali has been patiently waiting her turn to be a sister again and I pray to Jesus it will be soon. I wish I could make this easier on her but I understand I can't fix everything. I'm grateful she has cousins who are like brothers and sisters to her. I'm happy she has many friends who she spends lots of time with. This make things easier. It doesn't take the pain away but it certainly eases it.

Please pray for Cali love as you navigates this journey with us. Pray we can have the right words to help her understand and that a baby is in our near future <3