Sharing is Daring

I just finished watching "Fault in our Stars", which is a movie about two sick teenagers who fall in love at the most inopportune time. Both were nearing the end of their fight against cancer. Where as some people may have watched this movie and thought it ended so sadly, I would have said it ended beautifully. Now I would hate to ruin this movie for those of you who have not seen it so if you plan to see it anytime soon please stop reading this blog now. You can only imagine where a love story about two sick cancer patients will go so I hope it won't be too much of a surprise when I say..someone dies. Yes death is sad and unbearable at times but the reason I found this movie to be so fascinating was over the simple fact that they both talked about death so freely. They understood their outcomes and although it looked bleek, they were able to find love in the mist of all the heartache. They laughed, they cried, they showed affection towards one another, they lived life. W...

So I will be upfront before you read through this whole blog. This blog has nothing to do with my grieving process or my future. This blog is an account over the past year of Chad and myself venturing onto the organic band wagon. This week marks one year since Chad and I decided to eat as locally, organically and naturally as possible. We also vowed to shop and eat only at local businesses as much as we could for exactly one year. I thought it would be interesting to write out my thoughts about what I discovered over the past year from changing our eating and shopping habits. This whole journey started after I had a random allergic reaction all over my face and neck. After going to the doctor and using some steroids the reaction subsided and my face was back to normal. Although we never figured out where the allergic reaction stemmed from my doctor advised me to start using hypo allergenic face products. I found this a perfect opportunity to start using some more natural products wit...

Well, today I concluded my time at Speedwell Heights Brethren in Christ Church as their youth director. It truly was a bittersweet occasion. Although I felt a sense of relief knowing I will take some time off to focus on our family and spend time healing together, I really felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. I started working at Speedwell when I was 23 years old and now I'm 27. I've grown up in so many ways while working there and I believe a part of me will always remember my time at Speedwell as a significant part of my life. While working for the church Chad and I moved to a new home, got pregnant with Camden, had Camden and lost Camden. Like I said this morning to the congregation, I have been amazed at the love and support we received during the past few years. I have felt incredibly blessed to work for a place that grieved alongside with us and put no pressure on us to move on or get back to work by a certain time. I know many employers wouldn't show this kin...

It's been awhile since I've blogged so tonight I thought I would give a quick update on Chad, myself and Cali. As we're gearing up for the Holiday season, we as a family are preparing ourselves for what might be an emotional few months. We have been warned by other bereaving parents that the first Christmas after losing a child can be an emotional roller coaster all over again. I guess the nice part is, Chad and I are aware and ready to face the next two months. The autumn months have been a time of frustration for our family. A constant looming rain cloud seemed to follow me everywhere I go. I continue to look for part time employment in anticipation of stepping down from my youth ministry position in the next week. Chad and I hope to expand our family and we're dealing with all the pain and anxiousness that goes along with that. Cali has mastered how to make Mommy constantly worried about her and her health all the time. My immediate family continues to support my p...