I've been doing a lot of self reflection as I watch Cali grow up. When you watch the little human being you created navigate the trenches of the world it's hard not to take things personally. I wonder all the time if I'm screwing Cali up or teaching her bad habits that will go with her into adulthood. It's a constant reminder that a littler person is listening to everything I say and watching everything I do. That's a lot of pressure.
Second grade has been an interesting year for our family. Cali is getting to the age where she can understand more and engage in more meaningful conversations. She also has SO many feelings and expresses them often. As I have watch her build friendships with other little girls I've seen some troubling behavior from both my own daughter and other kids. This age seems like a time of exploring the boundaries, finding out who is the alpha dog and finding your BFF. As time unfolds I watch girls ignore others, leave kids out, whisper in others ears, claim their BFF to hurt others and so on. It has been painful to watch and I have listened to my daughter cry one too many times about a mean girl at school or at cheer or even at church.
Seeing these behaviors first hand, I had to think... where are they learning this from? Am I treating others with respect and kindness? Am I talking poorly about others in front of my kids? Do I leave others out? Do I try to include everyone when I can? I know I have been guilty of one or more of these recently. I like to think I am a kind person but sometimes I slip. And I remember, a little person is ALWAYS watching me and listening to what I say.
As much as I want to scream and tell these girls to stop what they are doing, I know first, we as adults have to make changes and lead by example. We don't have to be BFFs with everyone but we do need to treat everyone with kindness and respect. Cali is only getting older and her relationships will only get more difficult. I pray I can demonstrate what healthy relationships look like with friends and better yet what healthy conflict resolution looks like.
To those reading this, I pray we can all have a conversation with our little girls telling them it's ok to not get along sometimes but it's not ok to hurt someone for revenge. As Ellen would say "Be Kind to One another."
