Actually, I do. If the past four years have taught me anything, it's to stop, think, feel and act accordingly. Life is just too short to keep running around the same mouse wheel. If we look at our everyday lives and really prioritize what's most important, what would it be?
Work? I get it, work it essential to make money, provide for your family and something we all have to do. But are you working a crazy amount to make more money to afford a certain lifestyle? I know this is something i'm guilty of. Who doesn't want to make more money? But is work causing you to be so tired you rarely have time for yourself, or for your loved ones? I think I've shared this before but my dad is a pastor who has spend many hours at the bedside of dying people. He told me out of all those people, not one said they wished the would have worked more in their lifetime. In fact it's the exact opposite, they wished they would have spend more time with the people they loved.
Kid's activities? oooo, this one might push some buttons but it's a sad reality today. My generation of parenting is obsessed with their offspring and making them the champion at everything. Once again I get it. It's easy to get sucked into. Heck my 7 year old daughter is a competitive cheerleader lol. But in order for Cali to be able to do it we had to set some major boundaries so we didn't get lost in it all.
1. We explained to Cali we might not be at every competition because sometimes daddy works or Mommy and Daddy has responsibilities at church. It doesn't mean we don't love you, it means we are involved in other things too.
2. We decided we wouldn't put huge exceptions on Cali. If she decided it wasn't her thing, that is ok. But guess what? It was her thing... so now we support her.
3. We decided Cali could be in one sport at time. We didn't want to become her personal taxi driver and waste every evening and weekend at a sporting event. We want her to have a childhood aside from sports and activities.
4. We have to strive to sit down together for dinner every night. (This is big for me)
I get some of you might disagree and that is ok too. But when my child's activities are getting in between my marriage, my family time and church time...that's not ok with me.
Church? Ok let me explain. I'm an active member of a congregation in Lancaster, as well as a deacon. They're many more things I could be doing at church but simple put, I don't want to. It's easy to end up every night at some church activity or meeting when you're not careful. When Chad and I were apart of a small church plant there were some Saturday nights Chad was on sound, I was on the worship team and somehow we were scheduled to do nursery too. That's when I decided we had to say no. We were involved in almost every aspect of church. Now at our new church we are deacons and I've decided this is where I will invest my heart and time. I want to be a deacon and do it well. I know this might make our church staff cringe because they always need more volunteers but you have to set boundaries in order to take care of yourself.
Scared of boredom? I'm 100% sure my daughter is scared of being bored. Chad and I have this nifty new line we like to say to her (which she hates) "Boredom Builds character." When we actually have a free evening to ourselves I'm always trying to think of something we can go do. Why? Because when its quiet we have to face each other. It's like we're so used to going, going, going we don't know how to handle free time. I'm happy to say, since I've make some of these changes in my life...I now love a free evening at home.
Our lives are no longer filled to the rim with commitments. We get to spend a lot of time together. We love to play board games, watch movies, go for a family walk, lay on the hammock together and even read! Yes Cali still complains she is board but that's ok, it builds character :) This didn't happen over night. We had to set boundaries and prioritize. I'm so glad we did. My anxiety is so much better. The things we are involved in I feel we do well. And I have time to invest in real meaningful relationships with my family and friends.
I no longer want busy to be my new norm.
