Imagine
Some days I feel like I've spent my life imagining. When I was little I imagined what I would be like when I grew up. What career I would have. What my family would look like. When I was in middle school I imagined what it would be like to have a boyfriend and what my first date would be like. As a newlywed I wondered what growing old would look like and how many kids we would have. I imagined what our children would look like. Now at 30 i'm imagining the family my child might come from. I'm imagining if our family is complete, what life will look like when Cali is all grown up. Along with imagining, there are the "never imagines" too. I never imagined being 30 and having a lifetime worth of pain, grief & wisdom. I never imagined hoping for another mother to give up her child in order for my family to be complete. I never imagined investing 4 years of my life into growing my family and not succeeding. I never imagined burying my son when I was 26. I neve...