4 years old
This blog is really just random thoughts I'm feeling today: August 22nd, 2017 would have been Camden's 4th birthday. It sounds so bizarre to say that. I remember him as an infant babbling and cooing but to picture him as a 4 year is nearly impossible for me. My heart is no longer stuck in the "what if" stage but rather in the "this is reality" stage. I once sat around wondering what life would be like if Camden were still here but now I've moved towards my reality. Reality is Camden hasn't been here for 3 and a half years. We have spend our lives predominantly a family of three and its hard to remember any different. Both stages are equally painful for me. Living in reality makes me feel heartless and almost like i've forgotten about Camden. Living 6 months with two children was wonderful but very short. I can't remember what it was like. I can't remember his personality or his schedule. I can't remember his movements or his smell. ...