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Finding God's Love in Everyday Connections

I consider myself a religious person. What do I mean by that? I have believed in and worshiped Jesus Christ since I was old enough to understand the concept of Christianity. Through the lens of the American Evangelical church, I have gained a deeper understanding of the world. I have found purpose in life through the fundamental belief that I am a child of God, living out my calling until the day I return home. I have surrounded myself with a community of people who share similar perspectives and journeys, and we have decided to walk hand in hand, with God as our compass. The thoughts I shared reflect a deeply personal journey with the organized religion that I grew up admiring, hoping it would guide me towards a life free from hurt, pain, and challenges. I approached it as if it were a mathematical equation, believing that if I followed the right steps—attending church regularly, spreading kindness, and sharing my faith—I would be rewarded with a life filled with joy and ease. Unfortu...
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The weight of it all

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As someone who has been overweight most of her life, I consider myself an expert in fat girl trauma. I’ve spent years trying to relearn and rethink how I see my body. I’ve even gone as far as cutting out 80% of my stomach so I could be a “normal size.” Guess what? I’ve lost 50lbs, and I’m still not a standard size. Being a big girl never stopped me from trying to participate in regular school activities. I play soccer from 5th grade to 11th grade. I was in marching band for two years. I even attempted REC basketball for one season, which I hated! I was never the superstar on any team I played on. I was always at the back of the pack when running the mile in gym class. I was always the chubby friend with a pretty face in social settings. I slowly started understanding my role as the fat teammate, friend, and classmate. My body was not considered athletic or beautiful, so I was kept in my lane. You may participate, but you will never be the best. How could you be the best with a body lik...
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Half way there

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The average age of death for woman in the United States is 81. That means I'm just about half way there. Kind of depressing but also inspiring. I have 45 more years to make a difference, learn new things and better myself. This blog is intended to follow up from my last blog in January. I mentioned I've been doing a lot of soul searching in my 36th year. Including figuring out what I want to do with my life, both with work and personally. I'm not going to pretend I figured it all out but there has been some progression!  If you're someone close to me or follow my social media feed you may have whiplash from my life choices. Heck I do! I used to feel incredibly insecure about my job changes, educational changes and any change that included Cali but I've overcome that. I've learned that I don't need everyone else's approval to feel good about a decision I made for my life. I've learned I'm a team with my husband and he is a great sounding board whe...
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Putting the pieces together

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Self-discovery is a tireless journey of intricately piecing yourself together to figure out who you are, how you work and what makes you tick. And we all pray at the end their will be a beautiful picture formed and completed. The reality is, that probably will never happen. Truthfully a human will never be complete. We are flawed. We should be working hard to learn new things, challenging ourselves and improving the broken person we are. We're always going to be missing a piece...well lets be real, a few pieces. A helpful reminder that we are not perfect and will never be perfect so lets stop trying. Something I recently discovered about myself is a fear of failing. I would have never proclaimed myself as a perfectionist is the past but I hold some characteristics of one. As many of you know, my educational journey was lack luster and a bit demoralizing. I was used to failing in the literal terms. School was as place where I was labeled, put into a box and stuck for many years.  I ...
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Reflections on year 35

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You know how every adult with a social media platform bids farewell to a previous year and looks forward to the year ahead? It typically reads, "I'm not going to miss this last year; here's to 20XX being the best year yet!" Or "Year 34 was a rough one, here hoping year 35 brings all the best!"  We are always searching for positive transformations and personal growth. Well, I can confidently say year 35 has been just that! With 36 closely knocking on the door, I've taken some time to reflect on why this year has been such a memorable one.  Adulthood feels like it began when I was 20. The year I got married to Chad. This means we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary on May 16th. CRAZY. We have been through so much together. Chad has walked hand in hand through my best and my worst seasons. He has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. He has seen me succeed with flying colors and fail miserably. He has quietly watched me make good and not-so-good de...
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Let's hear it for the average kid

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Having a 12-year-old daughter, I'm in the thick of sports tryouts, musical auditions, and school invitationals. We are getting the whole experience of working hard and dealing with disappointment. I firmly believe in growing through life experiences such as not making the team, bombing a test, or forgetting your line in an audition. These experiences build character and prepare our kiddos for a lifetime of extreme excitement and extreme disappointment. All of which we, as adults, have experienced.  But something that doesn't sit well with me as a parent is the lack of space in sports, music, art programs, and school activities for the "average kid." This would include my daughter, the kid down the street, the boy sitting in the pew in front of us at church, and probably your kid.  What does an average kid look like?  It's a kid who... Drags their feet getting to school in the morning, but when there, are focused, trying their best, and respectful to staff. Partici...
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2020

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Probably the most basic blog title I could choose but the reality is, the term 2020 has become an international phenomenon. The year 2020 brought us a new decade and a little something called COVID-19. It almost seems like a curse word...It's hard to believe it's been 8 months since lockdown was implemented. We were all so cute and naive. We only have two weeks at home and then we can get back to life. This is great! A two-week vacation turned into a month vacation and it ended up being a three-month quarantine! Followed by a strange summer with canceled vacations, working from home and SO many outdoor movie nights. Then came fall like a wrecking ball. Virtual learning, elections, record-breaking COVID-19 cases, and modified holiday plans. Boy, this blog is sounding super depressing.  None of what I wrote is new to any of us. We all have experienced this together. Some more than others. Some of us have actually contracted COVID-19. Some of us have lost loved ones. Some of us ha...
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